Study Hall! Emoji blackface, the "family card," and starting conversations.
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Welcome to our weekly Study Hall where we answer questions and reflections from the previous week. Much of this week's actions were focused on personal reflection and insight (we signed a LOT of petitions the week prior, so I wanted to get us back in our journals).
We always save questions for future newsletters and hope to get to them all soon! Thank you for your thoughtful inquiries this week.
As always, your support is greatly appreciated. These contributions are our only source of funding and help us plan out for the long-term. You can give one-time on our website or Venmo (@nicoleacardoza), or subscribe for $5/mo on our Patreon.
Nicole
TAKE ACTION
1. Reflect on the questions prompted by our community.
2. Ask yourself two questions about one of the topics we discussed this week. Discuss these questions with a friend or colleague.
GET EDUCATED
In review: The newsletters we published this week.
8/7/2020 | Don't play the friend card.
8/6/2020 | Don't do digital blackface.
8/5/2020 | Avoid spiritual bypassing.
8/4/2020 | Protect the right to vote by mail.
8/3/2020 | Stay awake.
8/2/2020 | Protect those vulnerable to extreme heat during COVID-19.
Are emojis another form of digital blackface? I have a lighter-skinned friend who always uses darker-skinned emojis for "solidarity" but it feels off.
I say yes, and in fact, I'm working on a whole other piece on this for next week. But in short, always question what's the reason to use other skin colors. Does adopting a darker skin tone make the person feel more "sassy" or "angry?" That falls right into the same stereotypes we reviewed earlier this week. And regardless, it took until 2015 for emojis to be updated to include skin tones (Emojipedia). That was prompted by a series of requests for diversity – not for white people to adopt different skins for their thumbs up.
Some of my White relatives can be racist, but when called out on it, they say, "But my granddaughter/son-in-law/nephew, etc., is Black, so I can't be racist because they are a part of my family." How can I best communicate with my extended family about the issues in playing the 'family' card? How can I support my Black extended family members when other relatives are being racist?
The "friend card" and the "family card" work in a similar manner. We can all be racist in a racist system and society, regardless of our proximity to non-white people. I'd prompt them with the same questions mentioned in our newsletter: how do your actions affect [family member]? Does that action prevent others from harming them in the same way? What if someone you didn't know had said something like that to [family member]?
What do we do if we missed the boat? The message seems to be, "if you've ignored this part of your friendship until now, now is not the right time to stop ignoring it." Do we bring up race in an interracial relationship if we haven't discussed it yet?
This message seemed to be written by someone that identifies as white, so I'll start from that perspective. I'd encourage anyone to start this conversation in a safe and appropriate way. Know that your non-white friend has the capacity to determine what feels right for them and may not be interested in having this conversation with you. Don't center the conversation on you and your needs. Instead, focus the conversation on their perspective. I recommend reviewing the resources in these Anti-Racism Daily newsletters – and searching for other resources from anti-racism scholars and educators – before you do.
I am one of the people in the newsletter that has all-white friends. How do I diversify my friend group?
Diversifying friend groups generally is tough as we get older and we find ourselves in the same communities for an extended period of time. And I certainly think it's exacerbated with social distancing during COVID-19. But the likelihood of finding new friends starts with our capacity to understand and empathize with other people. So I'd think of your personal anti-racism journey as a step in that direction. Keep doing the work. Then, start looking at the spaces you choose to frequent and how diverse they are. Consider shifting those activities to spaces that cater to a more diverse audience. Odds are, you'll be supporting businesses that are more committed to equity and inclusion, which is part of this practice, too. Coffee shops and yoga studios are a good place to start.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Playing the friend card is referring to a friend from a marginalized community to act as justification against any racism or discrimination
Creating friends to practice performative wokeness is a deflection from the actual work needed
Interracial friendships are not nurtured in our society, and rare when analyzing the stats
Being in interracial relationships takes communication, trust and boundaries
RELATED ISSUES
8/1/2020 | Study Hall! Racist actions, doulas, and intersectional change.
7/25/2020 | Study Hall! How to be a better ally, petitions, and plastics.
7/18/2020 | Study Hall! Ebonics, capitalizations and cultural appropriation.
7/11/2020 | Study Hall! Raising multiracial children and addressing microaggressions.
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