Avoid spiritual bypassing.

Spiritual bypassing is to sidestep dealing with pain, strong feelings, trauma, etc. It can be helpful when we are not ready to confront difficult emotions in our lives. However, it is commonly used to avoid acknowledging privilege because doing so is inherently messy, painful, and requires continued awareness.

As a first-generation Indian-American woman, I’ve had periods of my childhood where I suppressed my identity in order to blend in. Being the daughter of immigrants is beautiful and complex, and even though I grew up in the most diverse county in the U.S., my sister and I were often the only Indian people in school and were called many of the offensive Indian stereotypes you can imagine. However, that doesn’t mean my experience is the same as that of every person of color. South Asians have privileges in Western societies that Black folx often do not. Even though the concept of ‘model minority’ is a harmful myth made to separate Black and Asian communities, it still has allowed me and families like mine to be perceived differently through Western culture. Yes, my family and myself have experienced racism - and still do. But to say all people of color have the same experiences would be to conflate and erase what Black communities have been enduring for centuries in the U.S To fuse them together is to bypass and thus invalidate the intergenerational trauma that lives on in our society.

In this piece, we’ll discuss how the failure to acknowledge one’s privilege and power can show up in wellness spaces. Sidestepping privilege with the excuse 'I do yoga’ (and therefore one should be ‘beyond’ all of these negative emotions) is actively harming communities of color.

– Melissa

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Take a deeper look at the wellness brands and yoga teachers you follow and the language they use to promote their products, classes and retreats to you. Do you notice bypassing language or behavior?
Follow vital work being done by leaders in the yoga and social justice space, take their courses, buy their books, and pay them for their time. Remember, people are not resources. When you reference a person as a resource, you are saying that their sole purpose is for your (and predominately white people’s) consumption. Books, podcasts, publications, emails - these are resources.

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By Melissa Shah (she/her)

What is spiritual bypassing?

Yoga has often been co-opted in the West as a feel-good practice where you are supposed to ‘empty your mind’ and achieve calm every time you practice. I’d argue that the actual function of yoga is to direct the mind, connect with your inner knowing, and to develop discernment and clarity. When yoga is practiced in its sincere form, it can bring up a lot of discomfort. There is a difference between having the appearance of processing something difficult and actually processing it. One of my teachers distinguishes this as acting out of patterning versus authenticity. Though on an individual level no one can truly know this distinction except you, the consequences of spiritual bypassing harm others. A common example is when someone shares something difficult they are dealing with and you immediately respond with “love and light” style advice rather than actively listening and holding space for their experience (Instagram).

How does it show up in wellness?

Spiritual bypassing in wellness is deeply embedded in societal conditioning. It’s most easily identified as constantly chasing the 'feeling good’ or, in other words, always chasing the light without sitting in the shadows. Sitting with what is can be incredibly uncomfortable and is therefore not as ‘marketable’ and ‘palatable’ for widespread consumption.

“Good vibes only,” repressing the full spectrum of emotions, being overly compassionate, and anger avoidance are a few examples prevalent in wellness spaces and in individuals who are deeply seeking relief from their past pain. Think of how many times you’ve been in a yoga class or scrolled your social feeds and heard students and/or teachers share how we are all the same or to ‘love and all is coming.’ In part, these are beautiful sentiments. But what do they actually mean in the context of the current state of our communities? In the context of hundreds of years of oppression against Black folx? Against Indigeous folx?

Privilege is being able to step in and out of these contexts at your leisure, without any difference in how you are treated or any difference in how you are able to move through society. Spiritual bypassing shows up so often in wellness that I feel it actually has warped into what is ‘normal.’ It is ANYTHING but that.

JP Gratrix (Instagram), a South Asian yoga teacher and author, distinguishes loving kindness and toxic positivity. She shares that cultivating compassion and loving kindness for yourself and those around you is not the same as only leaving room for positivity, particularly in the face of discomfort.

Here are examples of how spiritual bypassing sneaks into common phrases and interactions in wellness:

Saying 'love and only love will bring us together.' Love for our fellow neighbors is vital to our progress as a community, but excluding anything other than positivity isn’t being in a state of yoga. Understanding brings us together too.
‘We are all one’, ‘we are all human’, or ‘stop creating division!’ Acknowledging our differences and listening to the stories of those who are left out of wellness spaces comes first (Instagram). True unity comes when we can acknowledge how we play a role in perpetuating disparities.
Asking your BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) friends to acknowledge that you're doing the work to be a good ally. Also, wanting them to offer you gratitude for the work you should already be doing to better understand their experiences.
Using the central philosophy in yoga that ‘separateness is an illusion’ as a reason to reject the existence of BIPOC-only wellness spaces.
Using yoga terminology to bypass difficult conversations that challenge you and therefore invalidate the experience of the person approaching you.

What does it mean in relation to race?

Spiritual bypassing minimizes the experiences of marginalized folx. Neglecting to understand how generations of racism and brutality have affected Black communities and other communities of color is against the first ethical value of yoga, Ahimsa (non-harming). Practicing ahimsa is more than holding space for someone’s experience. It is holding space for your biases and internalized racism, too. Holding many things at once is not the easy path but the necessary one for collective liberation.

Invalidating painful experiences of racism is also an act of erasure (Facebook). It can cause BIPOC folx to feel that they need to continue to bury their own experiences and emotional responses in order to make room for the dominant culture. This can show up as BIPOC experiencing “freeze response” in response to racist actions, and when met with “Well I’m not THAT kind of white person. You should have felt comfortable sharing your experience with me.” This bypassing centers the white person’s importance rather than harm caused to BIPOC folx.

When yoga teachers fail to acknowledge current events that are affecting communities that are also underrepresented in wellness spaces, it harms students of color that are seeking spaces to feel seen and heard (Mic). It also prevents white students from learning the unmistakable intersectionality of yoga and social action.

When you are practicing spiritual bypassing, you are deceiving yourself into thinking you have attained a ‘higher state’ of being than you actually have. This harms everyone as it is a misuse of yoga. As you deepen your yoga practice, you don't become “above” this world. You become more of this world. You see more clearly the injustices in the world you live in and better understand your role and purpose in taking action.

Key Takeaways

Spiritual bypassing is avoiding dealing with strong and difficult emotions, pain, and/or trauma. It is often used in the wellness industry to avoid acknowledging privilege and the harm white-centered spaces cause to BIPOC communities.
It is harmful because by bypassing the history of racism in the U.S., white communities turn a blind eye to their complicity in racism and cultural appropriation in wellness spaces.
Spiritual bypassing actually limits one’s spiritual growth and the ability to develop clarity and discernment - the actual purposes of yoga.

1/11/2021 | Honor our grief.

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Avoid spiritual bypassing.

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As a first-generation Indian American woman, I’ve had periods of my childhood where I suppressed my culture to blend in. Being the daughter of immigrants is beautiful and complex, and even though I grew up in the most diverse county in the country, my sister and I were usually the only Indian people in school. We were singled out with many of the offensive Indian stereotypes you can imagine. Being a yoga therapist and having taught within this industry for some time, I see how South Asians are excluded, and white people are praised.

However, South Asians have privileges in that Black folx do not. I was reading about the phrase “to conflate”: taking two events or experiences and fusing them into one. Yes, my family and I have experienced racism living in the U.S. But that does not make it the same experience as what Black communities have endured for centuries in the West. To fuse them together is to bypass and thus invalidate the intergenerational trauma in our society.

Today we’re reviewing how the westernization of yoga encourages spiritual bypassing, which harms communities of color and actually prevents people from practicing the genuine roots of yoga.

Melissa

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TAKE ACTION

Analyze the wellness brands and yoga teachers you follow and the language they use to promote their products, classes, and retreats. Do you notice bypassing language or behavior?

Follow vital work done by leaders in the yoga and social justice space. Take their courses, buy their books, and pay them for their time*. Here are some suggestions >

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By Melissa Shah

What is spiritual bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing, according to Psychology Today, is “using ‘spiritual ideas and practices’ to sidestep personal, emotional ‘unfinished business,’ to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental tasks.” (Psychology Today). It acts as a deterrent when we are not ready to confront difficult emotions in our lives. However, it is also a common tool used to avoid acknowledging one’s privilege because doing so is inherently messy, painful, and requires continued awareness.

Yoga has been co-opted in the West as a feel-good practice where you are supposed to “empty your mind.” But the actual purpose of yoga is to connect with your inner knowing, develop clarity, and direct the mind. Practicing yoga in its sincere form can bring up a lot of discomfort. There is a difference between having the appearance of processing something difficult and processing it. Truthfully, on an individual level, no one can know this for sure except you. However, it can manifest in ways that harm others. For example, when someone shares a painful experience, and you immediately respond with “love and light” style advice, rather than actively listening and empathizing (more via Rachel Cargle on Instagram).

How does it show up in wellness?

Spiritual bypassing in wellness spaces is rampant, and deeply embedded in societal conditioning. It’s most easily identified as always chasing what “feels good” or, in other words, chasing the light without sitting in the shadow.

“Good vibes only,”’ repressing the full spectrum of emotions, being overly compassionate, and anger avoidance are a few examples prevalent in wellness spaces. Think of how many times you’ve been in a yoga class or scrolled your social feeds, hearing students or teachers share how we are all the same, or to ‘love and all is coming.’ Objectively, these are beautiful sentiments, right? But what do they mean in the context of the current state of our communities? In the context of hundreds of years of oppression against Black folx?

Privilege is the ability to step in and out of this content at leisure, without any difference in how your capacity to move through society. Spiritual bypassing shows up so often in wellness that I feel it has warped into normalcy. It is ANYTHING but that.

Here are some examples of spiritual bypassing in common phrases and interactions to avoid.

Don’t say, “love and only love will bring us together.” This phrase is not only a misuse of the notion that loving kindness for our fellow neighbors is vital to our progress as a community, but it also minimizes its power. Excluding anything other than positivity isn’t being in a state of yoga.
Avoid using phrases like “We are all one,” “we are all human,” or “stop creating division!” Acknowledging our differences and listening to the stories of those left out of wellness spaces comes first (Yoga is Dead on Instagram). True unity comes when we can recognize how we play a role in disparities perpetuating themselves.
Avoid asking your BIPOC friends to acknowledge that you're doing the work to be a good ally. Don’t look for validation or gratitude for the work you should do to understand their experiences better.
Don’t use yoga terminology to bypass difficult conversations that challenge you and therefore invalidate the person’s experience approaching you.
- Suppose a BIPOC student expresses that they felt unsafe in a yoga studio because the white teacher was using harmful or culturally appropriated language. In that case, a bypassing response is “the teacher probably had good intentions. Give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. Isn't that what yoga's all about?”
- Don’t use the definition of yoga (to yoke, join or unite) to bypass discussing your privilege or how you have contributed to leaving target audiences out of wellness spaces.
- Examples: Recently, a teacher with a sizeable social media following co-opted yoga philosophy language to bypass the impact of COVID-19 and how it has highlighted existing racial and health disparities in our country and the world (Instagram).

What does it mean concerning race?

Spiritual bypassing minimizes the experiences of targeted audiences. Generations of racism and brutality and its impact on communities of color are against yoga’s first ethical value: non-harming (Yoga International). Invalidating painful experiences of racism, like this white yoga teacher did just days after the murder of George Floyd, is an act of erasure (Facebook). It can cause BIPOC folx to feel that they need to bury their own experiences and emotional responses to make room for dominant culture.

As Mic says in a recent article on this topic, “spiritual bypassing" is the ‘all lives matter’ of the yoga world” (Mic). When yoga teachers fail to acknowledge current events affecting underrepresented communities in wellness spaces, it harms students of color seeking areas to feel seen and heard. It also prevents white students from learning the unmistakable intersectionality of yoga and social action.

Practicing spiritual bypassing is a misuse of yoga that harms everyone. As you deepen your yoga practice, you don't ascend from this world. You become more of this world. And you can more clearly see the injustices in the world you live in, and better understand your role in taking action. Michelle C. Johnson, author of Skill In Action, offers insights on how to get started.

Read examples from other BIPOC practitioners on the harm of spiritual bypassing (all quotes via Today).

“Yoga is literally the opposite of escapism; it’s a trauma-informed practice. What yoga tells you is to be present, to work through the emotional discomfort. So if you're buying into a studio culture that only makes you feel good, that only tells you you're OK, even when you're not feeling well, you're not actually gaining the real long-term benefit of yoga.”

Tejal Patel, co-founder of Yoga is Dead Podcast and founder of Tejal Yoga

“With all of these shootings, police brutality, when you're telling me to clear my mind, I can’t do that. I feel like that's not taken into consideration when I've been in white yoga and meditation spaces. And then it’s just… bam bam bam do this pose, do that pose. There’s no real connection or acknowledgment.”

Sevon Blake, a Black 29-year-old baker in Queens, New York

“We would all love to be positive all the time, but when your positivity comes as a response to real trauma or pain that people are having, then you're trying to use your positivity to erase instead of empower.”

Morgan Fykes, a Washington D.C based yoga teacher

*Remember, people are not resources. Refrain from sharing a BIPOC yoga teacher’s name as ‘hey they will be a great resource for you.’ When you reference a person as a resource, you say that their sole purpose is for your consumption. Books, podcasts, publications, emails - these are resources.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Spiritual bypassing is avoiding dealing with intense and difficult emotions, pain, and trauma. It is often used in the wellness industry to avoid acknowledging privilege, and the harm white-centered spaces cause to BIPOC communities.
It is harmful because when we bypass the history of racism in our country and how it impacts communities of color, we allow ourselves to remain complicit in how it affects the wellness industry and broader society.
Spiritual bypassing limits one’s spiritual growth and capacity for clarity and discernment – yoga’s real purpose.